Marriage, Money, and the American Dream

I have found myself lately being bombarded by the temptations of the American Dream. You know the American Dream. It might even be your own dream. Pretty wife or handsome husband, nice big house in a nice neighborhood, white picket fence, 2.5 children, a cat, a dog, three cars and maybe even a boat, an overly comfortable income, and a nice fat retirement check when I turn 65, and an RV to travel the world in. All for the sake of comfort and happiness, as if having money is the key to comfort and happiness, and as if comfort and happiness were the main goal in life. The reality is, whenever these things become the heartbeat of your life and the primary concern of your mind, it is sin. It is a complete worship of self and complete rebellion against the God who deserves all of our affection.

I think much of this has come as a result of my quickly-coming wedding that is on it's way in January. Man, it is coming fast and I can't wait. But with marriage comes alot of responsibility, especially for me as the husband. It is my desire to be the best husband that I can be. And part of being a good husband is being a good provider. But we as Christian's necessarily must evaluate what our definition of being a good provider is, and what that might look like in the context of a God-glorifying marriage. And even if you aren't anywhere close to marriage, you must begin now building your expectations for your life and your lifestyle will be. Most likely, in the next 10 years all of you will be in some way preparing for taking that next step towards marriage. 10 years!! You all will be 22, 23, or 24 years old. In reality, marriage is not too far away for you. So how can you fix your affections and heart on the right things NOW so that whenever you begin your own life with your husband and wife, you will be able to have the right expectations and the right desires for your life and marriage.

Here are a few examples of how the American Dream interferes with what God wants us to do with our lives:

For example, the American Dream says to buy the biggest house you can in the most expensive neighborhood, even if you can't really afford it, because big is better than small, and biggest is even better than big. But the gospel might say, buy a smaller house that you really can afford (so you won't be a slave to a credit card or a bank for the rest of your life) or rent an apartment in the community where your church is located, so that you can use that as a hub of ministry so the gospel will spread in that community.

For example, the American Dream might say to buy a brand new car every few years to stay up on the latest model with all of the coolest features, whereas the gospel might say to drive your used car, even though the power windows or locks don't work, so that you can save literally thousands of dollars for mission trips or other ministries that you wouldn't be able to do if you did buy a new car that you didn't need.

For example, the American Dream might even tell you to spend hundreds of dollars a year on bottled water, because bottled water is better, purer, and tastier than tap water, even though you could buy a water purifier for well under 50 dollars. And what might we say about weekly or even daily trips to Starbucks? Or spending $1.50 on a 20 oz. soda when we could buy a 2 liter for $1.00 (or drink water for free?)?

I'm not saying we should live lives were we deprive ourselves of things simply for the sake of deprivation. But it is about making our lives, even the way that we spend money, point to Jesus. As John Piper says, "Money is given to us to use it in a way to show the world that money is not our treasure but that Christ is our treasure!."

And so for me, I have to really come to grips with the fact that just because I live in a culture that glorifies possessions and position and prosperity, I need not guage my success and my life by the standards that they set. Listen to what Hebrews 13:5 says: "Keep your life free from love of money, andbe content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

And Paul says to us in Timothy 6:6-10, " 6Now there is great gain in godlinesswith contentment, 7for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils."

We should be so satisfied in Jesus that a house or a car or a bank account is child's play compared to the Joy, contentment, and happiness that comes as a result of knowing the God of the Universe as both our Savior and Friend.



For the Gospel and His Glory,
Aaron